Sunday

Mesh & Tulle Wreath Tutorial


I'm not a wreath lover. Seeing all the ones made from tulle, burlap, ribbons, and mesh made me think I kinda like those. I really wanted something to go with my Christmas tree. The first tree I've had in 10 years.

Wednesday

Witness to the Persecution

I've been forwarded these in an email. They are so darn funny every time I get them. I decided to share them.


ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said , 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?

WITNESS: My name is Susan!
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?

WITNESS: No , I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
  ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
  ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?

  WITNESS: Yes , voodoo.
  ____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
sleep , he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old , how old is he?

WITNESS:  He's 20 , much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS: Are you sh*tting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?

WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes..
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I
get a new attorney?

____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

WITNESS: Take a guess.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

WITNESS: Unless the circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on
dead people?

WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
And last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.


Thursday

Spring Bunnies

Welcome Spring and with it comes the Old Farmhouse Gathering on Etsy's celebration. I made these bunnies for it. At the end of this post will be a special I am having for Spring.

click here to purchase

Tuesday

Raggedy Construction Zone



Over the weekend I made this great Annie Doll. She's a wonderful doll for beginners. You can click on any of the pictures to make them larger.

Click here to purchase one.  You'll have to scroll down 3/4 of the page.

I don't want to get into any debate here. But if you use someone's design, even if you change the face, clothing or anything, it is common courtesy to credit the designer.

That said, I hope you will enjoy how this doll went together.

Monday

Monday Marketplace OFG


Welcome Joanne to my blog for Monday Marketplace. I can't paint beautiful things so I am featuring someone who can:
Porcelain Flower Quencher

Patternmart

PatternMart.com

Old Farmhouse Gathering Team

Old Farmhouse Gathering Team
Looking for something special?? Click here and search the old farmhouse!